2008: How Desperate are Republicans?

Days Until Bush Leaves Office = 573

The big question right now among Republicans is how to remove Vice President Cheney from office. Or so says Sally Quinn in an op-ed piece in today's Washington Post, shockingly titled, "A GOP Plan to Oust Cheney."

Are things really that bad among Republicans? You bet they are. The GOP is still reeling from its epic defeat in last year's elections, and lives in daily dread of next year's contest for the White House. It isn't hard to understand why.

Just take a look at the candidates fielded by each party. For the Democrats: Joe Biden, a Senator with awesome policy chops; Hillary Clinton, already a political legend whose star is in all probability still rising; Chris Dodd, who is rapidly becoming a one-man idea factory in this campaign; John Edwards, with proven populist appeal; Barack Obama, the ultimate political rock star; and Bill Richardson, with as impressive a resume as any person who has ever sought the Oval Office. For the Republicans: a crop of anonymous pols so generic and colorless that one of their own number coined the definitive collective moniker of dismissal for them all: Rudy McRomney.

But back to Sally Quinn. Surveying the beleaguered state of the current administration, Quinn recalls an anecdote concerning a previous Republican disaster in office, Richard Nixon, who, as an aside, is starting to look pretty good in comparison to George W. Bush. In Quinn's story, Barry Goldwater is wrestling with the dilemma of whether it is actually time to deliver the news to Nixon that the angry villagers are in full pitchfork mode and it is time to go. According to Quinn, a similar moment may be at hand for Dick Cheney, with John Warner as the messenger.

But that's not the really desperate part. No, the really desperate part of this story is that Quinn goes on to postulate that Cheney is replaced as Vice President by - wait for it - Fred Thompson, whose rise to power heals the party at a stroke, reverses the country's historically low estimation of the GOP, and allows Thompson to ride his white charger roughshod over all challengers to win the Presidency with ease.

And it appears that some in the GOP are seriously considering the scenario Quinn discusses in her article. But that's not the story. The story is that current circumstances and future prospects are so bad for Republicans (or should that be Republicants?) that they resort to this sort of utter fantasy for comfort.

As the sloganeers of the gun lobby might put it, Dick Cheney will give up his office only when they pry it from his cold, dead hands. That Republicans dream otherwise shows the true extent of their desperation.